What's wrong with me, why do I do this?

I don't know if you can, or have health insurance, but it really sounds like it would be good for you to talk to a counselor about some of the anger issues you have before you harm yourself or someone else. When I was a teenager I had major anger issues, and I still do but being a teenager is extremely difficult with all the emotions you go through, and other kids being @ssholes and whatnot, relationships, parents, etc. I know it sounds ridiculous telling you to go to a counselor, because you probably won't. But, it seriously sounds like you have some stressful stuff going on, with your mother, and your anger and emotions. No one can sit here and diagnose you because we aren't doctors. If I were you though, I'd ask one of your parents if you could maybe see a counselor for stress. Or even go to the school counselor. Sounds crazy I know, but it might help, and someone else might be able to help. I can't give you a reason for why you act the way you do. Also-yes the repetitive hand washing could border on obsessive compulsive disorder. The paranoid thoughts aren't healthy either, it would be helpful for you to seek a psychiatrist-and psychologist . Good luck :)